Gibson Guitars “Riffs on OCS” (boom, boom)

Information Week reported that Gibson, makers of the iconic Les Paul guitar (as used by just about everyone, maybe most famously Jimmy Page of Led Zep or Slash from Guns N Roses), are doing great stuff with Office Communication Server, and singing its praises. They found the level of integration with OCS with the other applications that the users had, was the most obvious benefit to using it – echoing what David Berlind from ZDNet said after seeing a pre-release version in action…

So deeply and contextually can Office Communicator’s DNA be integrated into the rest of Microsoft’s solutions that there is probably no other glue in all of Microsoft’s portfolio that so elegantly demonstrates the company’s strategic vision for making knowledge workers more productive at what they do.

Indie IPR1 Solid Anniversary Limited EditionWell good luck to Gibson.

I’ve always been a Fender man, myself – but then since they migrated from Linux to Windows Server, they could always follow suit and adopt the same technology.

As an aside, the last time I bought a guitar, I was humming and hawing between a new US Fender Stratocaster or a straight-up Les Paul standard – then I came across the Indie Guitar company. In the end, I got an instrument which I think is as good if not better than both, and it worked out cheaper too…

How to cook the perfect fillet steak

OK, this is pretty far removed from the norm of an IT blog, but it is the weekend so I feel it’s allowed. The topic has some technical (practical) aspects, and is something I’ve been talking with a few people about lately.

I’ve seen various techniques on how to cook steak properly, but I came across one individual’s website (which, frustratingly, I can no longer find) a few years ago, which summarised everything beatifully and set me trying out a few different ways from the norm. In a nutshell: cook the steak from room temperature, oil the meat and not the pan, use a pan as hot as you can, and let the steak rest for at least as long as you cooked it.

It’s all about heat

I used to work in a professional kitchen. Well, I was a waiter in a nice restaurant, which meant I spent a bit of time in a pro kitchen (generally on the “other” side of the hot plate). Professional chefs seemingly have a duty to verbally abuse their waiting staff, which mine did with gusto if not applomb.

Several years later, I was being shown round a call centre (as The Client), when I recognised one of the chefs who’d been giving me verbal, was now trying to sell software over the phone. Presumably, the world of cooking hadn’t worked out for him quite as he’d hoped.

Anyway, one thing I learned about cooking steak back then was, it’s all about heat. Now the trick to cooking a good fillet steak (and that’s pronounced fill-it, not fill-eh, unless you currently live in France), is to try to get close to restaurant kitchen heat levels in a domestic kitchen. It can make for a lot of smoke, but it’s very effective. Here’s the deal…

    • Take your fillet steak out of the fridge at least 20 minutes before you want to cook it, to allow it to get to room temperature. Taking a cold steak and throwing straight onto hot metal won’t do anything for the tenderness of the end result.
    • Pat the steak with kitchen roll to remove any excess moisture (if the meat is wet, when you put it on the heat, that water will vapourise and only form a barrier between the steak and the heat source).
    • Once patted dry, rub a little sunflower or vegetable oil into the steak, with your fingers (don’t use olive oil – it burns at too low a temperature), and leave to sit for a few minutes. Season with salt & pepper if you like.
    • Put a small, dry, frying pan on maximum heat on the biggest ring/burner on your hob. Leave it there for a least a couple of minutes. In the meantime, go and open some windows. Things are likely to get smokey. I’ve heard of some people leaving the pan on heat for as much as 10 minutes, but you might struggle to see the cooker by the time you’re ready to put the fillet on.
  • When the pan is as hot as you can suffer, gently place the steak onto the surface. After 30 seconds or so, move it so it doesn’t stick and burn. Now it’s a straight function of how hot your pan is, how big the steak is, and how you like it cooked, which will determine how long to leave it there. I tend to find 2-3 minutes each side will give a nice medium-rare on a decent sized fillet on a pan that’s been on heat for a few minutes.

There’s a trick to being able to tell when the steak is properly cooked, and it involves prodding your own hand. Pressing on the surface with your finger, you’ll feel the flesh give way a little, and it should be about the same firmness as if you press with the finger on the fleshy part of your hand when pinching thumb and fingers together. It’s easier to show than describe:

Rare Medium/Well-don

So if you touch thumb and index finger, the firmness of your hand will be about the same as a rare steak, while thumb and little finger will be more like well done. Experience and practice will help you out here, and don’t be scared of cutting the steak to check it’s cooked as you’d like – better a well-cooked dish with a cut in the middle, than an undercooked but nicely presented one.

I can’t really understand wanting to cook a lovely fillet of beef to “well done”. You might as well save a bit of cash and buy a cheaper cut. In fact, according to Anthony Bourdain (and I’ve heard this of other chefs too), the skankier bits of beef get set aside for serving to restaurant customers who like their meat good ‘n burnt – with a label on the meat saying “SFWD”, or “Save For Well Done”.

Finally, take the steak off the heat and put on a warmed plate and just let it rest for 10 minutes or so, before serving. You might want to deglaze the pan with a little red wine and maybe a knob of butter, to make a nice sauce. Mmmmmmmmm.

Lelouch’s “C’etait un Rendezvous” gets mashed

RendezvousSomeone has taken the petrol-heads’ classic film, a 9-minute dash through early morning Paris known simply as “Rendezvous“, and built a mash-up between Google Video and Google Maps, to show the route he was taking. Who needs another excuse to watch this film? Well, you’ve got it now.


Rendezvous, if you hadn’t heard the story, was a film shot by French director Claude Lelouch, allegedly driven by a professional driver at the wheel of Lelouch’s Ferrari 275GTB. In reality, it was a Mercedes saloon and it was Lelouch himself driving, and later dubbed the soundtrack (though it does sound pretty realistic to me).


Legend has it that he was arrested immediately following the first showing of the film: no surprise, since what it shows is completely illegal – driving at over 100mph through red-lights, the wrong way down one-way streets etc. It’s still strangely compelling, though, even if you know it’s a bit of a fake…


(thanks to Steve for the link)

Tags as long-running transactions

Tagging: Brett, John, Allister, Darren and Julius.

When it comes to transaction processing, most systems think in terms of very short increments of time – eg taking money from an ATM, the whole transaction is done in a few seconds. Some may take longer – like transferring money between two different banks, which could take a few days. Others are maybe much more long-running – such a house sale and purchase, which could last for weeks and weeks.

So it is with some blog follow up. I only just spotted that Steve the Geek had tagged me a few weeks ago, and maybe it’s time to follow up…

  • name at least 5 programs (web or standalone) that you love that go against the mainstream ( optional – reason why – if possible)
  • name at least 5 programs that you dislike; OSes not included, (optional – reason why – if possible)
  • tag at least 5 other people

So here goes…

Bouquets

  • Ilium’s eWallet – a super cool bit of cheap software which allows easy maintenance of confidential stuff on a PC (maybe the legions of passwords you might manage, or the account numbers of all your credit cards or bank accounts), and can synch them down to your Smartphone, Pocket PC or Palm. It’s one of the first things I install on any new mobile device or after rebuilding a PC. Not so much against the mainstream as genre-defining.
  • Windows Live Mail – I’ve now got 3 or 4 WL/Hotmail accounts that I use, and this desktop app manages them all nicely, even integrating to the instant search in Vista. Not mainstream since a lot of people -still- don’t know it even exists.
  • Numerous web-based forums, often based on software like vBulletin or UBB. In most cases, the forum software just works really well (though sometimes they have real problems with scalability), and has come on leaps & bounds since the early web forums. So much more friendly that Usenet. FlyerTalkDigitalSpy are examples of great web forums; PistonHeads, less so. 
  • Local.Live.com – drastically needs a better name, but it’s so good in so many ways that it’s a crying shame a lot of folks still don’t know about it. I remember the first time I saw Google Earth – I though it was really impressive, even though the UI was horrible. Microsoft’s Virtual Earth (even mobile) technology has overtaken Google Maps/Google Earth IMHO.
  • At the risk of being a bit too Microsoft-centric, I’m going to add Digital Image Suite 2006 here. Not as powerful as Photoshop, maybe, but for what I need to do with it (manage photos and do the odd bit of cropping & touching up), it works really well. Shame it’s now been discontinued 🙁

Brickbats

  • Partition Magic – Actually, I used to like PQM because it did something that there was no other feasible way of doing – dynamically resizing and moving disk partitions whilst preserving the data on them. I’m putting it in here because it hasn’t been updated in years (since well before Symantec hoovered up the company), and has no roadmap for the future – so it isn’t compatible with Vista and never will be.
  • Almost any PC laptop utilities from the manufacturer – whether it’s Toshiba’s crazy FlashCards that keep popping up on top of everything, or their monitor program to make sure the hard disk isn’t being moved too much (??), to Dell’s QuickSet utilities, they’re almost always slow, the UI is horrible, they consume lots of memory and (in the case of Tosh), routinely just fall over, especially when shutting the machine down.
  • Siebel. Talk to anyone in Microsoft who has to use Siebel (now, amusingly, an Oracle product, but one which MS has spent years and probably $$$$ implementing), and the universal opinion is that it is absolutely horrible in almost every regard.
  • Zune software – I’m sorry, I just don’t see why it was necessary to build a separate app which (presumably) shares a lot of its guts with Windows Media Player, that has to be installed to sync with the Zune player. Why can’t Zune just consume WMP, even put a skin on it for branding purposes, but not require a different look & feel, separate registration of filetypes etc? Maybe an example of Zune trying to be a little too like iPod/iTunes.
  • Acrobat Reader. How many times have I clicked on a link in a web page to open a PDF file in a new tab in IE7, read the doc and then pressed CTRL-F4 to close that tab, only to get an error saying: “Acrobat Reader: This action cannot be performed from within an external window”… Or how many times has the PC bogged down, only to find the Acrobat Reader process – which isn’t even open and visible – merrily chewing away at all the CPU and memory it can grab? Or how many times has IE fallen over like a helicopter missing a rotor blade, only to find that the dreaded ACRORD32.EXE is behind the fault? It’s probably better now than previously, but it seriously winds me up when Acrobat falls to bits because I know that most people will just attribute it to Windows or IE.

Technology changes during the Blair era

So Tony Blair stepped down as the UK’s Prime Minister this week, just over 10 years since his ascendance to the position. Funnily enough, I got my “10 year” service award at Microsoft recently (a fetching crystal sculpture and a note from Bill ‘n’ Steve thanking me for the last decade’s commitment), which got me all misty-eyed and thinking about just how far the whole technology landscape has evolved in that time. I also did a presentation the other day to a customer’s gathering of IT people from across the world, who wanted to hear about future directions in Microsoft products. I figured it would be worth taking a retrospective before talking about how things were envisaged to change in the next few years.

When I joined Microsoft in June 1997, my first laptop was a Toshiba T4900CT – resplendent with 24Mb of RAM and a Pentium 75 processor. My current phone now has 3 times as much internal storage (forgetting about the 1Gb MicroSD card), a CPU that’s probably 5 times as powerful and a brighter LCD display which may be only a quarter the resolution, but displays 16 times as many colours.

In 1997, there was no such thing as broadband (unless you fancied paying for a Kilo- or even Mega-stream fixed line) and mobile data was something that could be sent over the RAM Mobile Data Network at speeds of maybe 9kbps. I do remember playing with an Ericsson wireless adapter which allowed a PC to get onto the RAM network – it was a type III PCMCIA card (meaning it took up 2 slots), it had a long retractable antenna, and if you used it anywhere near the CRT monitor that would be on the average desk, you’d see massive picture distortion (and I mean, pulses & spikes that would drag everything on the screen over to one side) that would make anyone think twice about sitting too close to the adapter…

The standard issue mobile phone was the Nokia 2110, a brick by modern standards which was twice as thick & twice as heavy as my Orange SPV E600, though the Nokia’s battery was only half as powerful but was said to last almost as long as the SPV’s. Don’t even think about wireless data, a colour screen, downloadable content or even synchronisation with other data sources like email.

People didn’t buy stuff on the internet in 1997 – in fact, a pioneering initiative called “e-Christmas” was set up at the end of that year, to encourage electronic commerce – I recall being able to order goods from as many as a handful of retailers, across as many as a few dozen product lines!

One could go on and on – at the risk of sounding like an old buffer. If Ray Kurzweil is right, and the pace of change is far from constant but is in fact accelerating and has been since the industrial revolution, then we’ll see the same order of magnitude change in technology as we had in the last ten years, within the next three.

In tech terms, there was no such thing as the good old days: it’s never been better than it is now, and it’s going to keep getting better at a faster rate, for as long as I think anyone can guess.

The Campaign for Real Pedantry, erm, I mean numbers

Hats off to James O’Neill for a display of true, world-class pedantry to which I could only aspire. It drives me nuts to get emails with badly formatted phone numbers which can’t be dialled on Smartphones without first editing them, and now that I’ve started using Office Communications Server 2007 (more later) as the backbone for my real office phone, it impedes the usability of that too.

James’ beef is that a lot of people incorrectly write a UK phone number which would be defined as 0118 909 nnnn (where 0118 is the area dialing code, and 909nnnn is the local number, the last 4 digits of which form an extension number in this specific example, available through DDI).

Here are some examples of number crime:

  • (0) 118 909 nnnn – Incorrect and useless. Why put the first zero in brackets at all? Nobody is ever going to dial starting ‘118’
  • +44 (0) 118 909 nnnn – Incorrect, though perhaps useful to people who don’t understand country codes. There may well be lots of people out there who don’t ever call international and don’t understand the “+44” model of dialing from a mobile phone. So maybe the (0) will indicated to them that maybe they should add it in… but it could be confusing to overseas dialers who’re calling this number – how do they know if they should dial +44 118 or +44 0 118?
  • +44 (0) (118) 909 nnnn – someone likes the brackets just a little too much
  • +44 (0118) 909 nnnn – even worse than number 2. Either drop the brackets and the 0, or drop the +44 altogether.

The only correct way to write this number is +44 118 909 nnnn, or for the truly pedantic, +44118909nnnn. Maybe you wouldn’t publish an E.164 formatted number (as the scheme is called) as your primary customer services number, and it doesn’t make sense to use it for numbers that won’t be dial-able from abroad (eg some 0870 numbers or 0800 numbers). But for everything else, I’d encourage everyone to please make sure your email signature has a properly formatted number (either simplifying it by dropping the +44 or losing the brackets and leading zero). If your company publishes your number in its online address book, then make sure that’s formatted correctly too so that people using telephone-aware systems (like Windows Mobile or Outlook Voice Access) can correctly call you.

In my profession, if someone doesn’t figure that +44 118 909 nnnn is my phone number and that if they’re in the UK and not in the Reading area, they need to drop +44 and add “0” if they’re dialing from a plain old phone system, then I’m quite happy to have them not phoning me up…

Measuring business impact

I’m going to approach this topic over a number of posts, as something I’ve been thinking about rather a lot lately.


Basically, the challenge is about finding out what impact making a change to the business environment will have: either positive or negative, and then using that information to either justify making the change in the first place (so it’s not really measuring business impact, but estimating future business impact of an impending change), or a retrospective measurement to either decide if some earlier change was a good thing (and maybe to see if it should continue).


Most of the time you’ll read about managing business impact, reducing cost, improving flexibility etc etc, it will be coming from someone trying to sell you something – an IT supplier saying that the latest version of this is going to solve all sorts of problems (some of which you don’t even know exist yet), or an IT or business analyst trying to sell you their insight and knowledge, without which you’re bound to fail and wind up on the scrapheap counting all those missed opportunities you just couldn’t see at the time.


Numerous terms have arisen, to try to describe this impact or to frame a way of counting the scale of it. Just a few examples:



TCOGartner Group coined the “Total Cost of Ownership” term in the late 1980s, to describe the cost of running a whole IT system, not just the cost of buying it or implementing it in the first place. It’s one of the most-used terms when it comes to talking about the benefits of some new IT system, partly because most businesses would see a benefit in reducing operational costs… so think that TCO reduction is inevitably a good thing. The irony is that, in my experience at least, many businesses don’t really know what their costs are (other than at a high level) so measuring a change in TCO is going to be difficult to do at any specific level.


Think of an example of support costs – if a new project aims to reduce the costs of keeping everything running, the only way you’ll know if it was effective would be to know what the true cost was in the first place. I’ve seen some businesses which can tell exactly how much it costs to provide really specific services to their users – like $10 a month to put a fixed phone on a user’s desk – so can more accurately estimate how much of a saving will be generated by rationalising, or improving the current systems.


RoIa catch-all term for what the return on any investment will be, and (in measuring terms at least), what the time frame for that return will be. Just as one way of making more money is to reduce the costs of operations, investing in something new which returns more money back into the business is a clear way of growing. The downside of looking for an ROI in every investment, however, is that the knock-on ROI will be in some associated project which you might not be expecting right now, or measuring currently. What I mean by that is, the fact that you made some change to the business might not bring about any RoI in itself (eg increasing capacity on the network) but it will allow other project (like deploying a new application) to be more effective.


TEIForrester Research came up with this one, possibly in answer to the noise Gartner was making about their TCO model… though it does go further than just look at cost. “Total Economic Impact” tries to correlate cost, benefit and (most importantly, perhaps) the future flexibility that might come about by making some change, with the risk inherent in doing so.


Opportunity Cost


Even when thinking about the financial models for justifying expenditure (let’s assume it’s a new software deployment, which will have direct costs – licenses – and indirect costs – the time of people to carry out testing of the software, training time for end users etc), it’s very easy to get caught up in thinking too closely about the project in question.


One concept that stands out to me when talking about IT investment, is that of opportunity cost – an economics term which isn’t really measured as a value of cost at all, but it’s the missed opportunity itself. In basic terms, the opportunity cost of going to the cinema on a Saturday afternoon is not going to see the football. In that example, it’s a straight choice – you can only do one of those things at that point in time, and the cost will be the missed opportunity to do the other. The element of choice there will be to decide which is going to be better – which is going to cost less, or which might return a higher degree of satisfaction, possibly.


Thinking about opportunity cost in business terms is a bit harder, since we often don’t know what the missed opportunity is until we look back some time later and realise it then. To flip that idea on its head, let’s say you want to measure how effective someone is at doing their job.


Business effectiveness


Just about every employer has measures in place to try to figure out how well the employees are doing – in relative terms, measuring their performance in comparison with their peers, or in financial terms, to decide if the resources being used to employ that person could be better used in a different area, or if more resources should be deployed to have more people doing that type of job.


Let’s take the example of a restaurant. Making a successful business will depend on a whole load of relatively fixed factors – the location of the building, the decor and ambience of the place, for example – as well as lots of flexible things, like the quality and price of the food or the effectiveness of the service. There will even be external factors that the restaurant could do nothing about, except possibly anticipate – such as change in fashion or a competitor opening up across the street.


If the quality of the food is poor when compared to the price, the standard of service and the overall ambience of the place, then customers will be unhappy and will likely vote with their feet. If the food is consistently average but cheap, then people will come for that reason (just look at most fast food outlets). Each of these factors could be varied – raising the price of the not-so-nice food, or paying more for ingredients to get higher quality, or firing the chef and replacing him with someone who’s more skilled – and they should make a difference, but the problem is in knowing (or guesstimating) what that difference will be before deciding on which factor to vary, and by how much.


When businesses look at how they invest in people, it’s easy to question the amount spent on any specific role. In the restaurant case, would adding another chef make the quality better? Would it improve the time it takes to get meals out to customers (something that’s maybe really important, if it’s a lunchtime restaurant but maybe less so in some cosy neighbourhood trattoria)? Would the knock-on effect be worth the extra cost of employing the chef? And would the extra chef just get in the way of the existing one, reducing their individual effectiveness?


I’ve said to people in my own employers in the past, that the only way they will really be able to measure how good a job my team does, is to stop us doing it and then observe what happens 2 years later. So what if the restaurant reduced the number of waiting staff, and switched from using expensive, fresh ingredients to cheaper frozen stuff, in an effort to reduce cost? On one hand, the figures might look good because the cost of supply has just dropped and the operational costs have been reduced too.


But the long term impact might be that loyal customers drift away as the food’s not as good value as it was before, or a bad review from an unexpected restaurant critic. At that point, it could require a huge effort to turn things around and rebuild the tarnished name of the place.


So what’s the point of all this rambling? Well, in the next installment I’ll look at some of the TCO/ROI arguments around Exchange Server…

Graeme Obree: The Flying Scotsman

  I went to see a really interesting film tonight, a preview of The Flying Scotsman, a film about the life (or at least some of the achievements) of the remarkable Graeme Obree.


Obree, if you’ve never heard of him, broke the holy-grail record of cycling, beating a 9-year old total distance cycled in an hour. That record was always though of as the supreme struggle – get on your bike, cycle as hard as you can for 60 minutes, and see how far you got.


I had a passing acquaintance with Obree when he was in his teens (and I was younger): we were both in the same cycling club, very occasionally used to go on rides (which would generally involve me being dropped early on by Graeme and his pal Gordon Stead, in whose workshop he built the “Old Faithful” bike with which he stirred a hornet’s nest of controversy in the cycling establishment, whilst breaking a couple of world records and taking a couple of world championships).


Obree was always fast – even as a 17-year-old he was doing 20-minute 10-mile time trials on fairly ordinary bikes, along a dual carriageway. I recall hearing out of the blue in 1993 that some weird Scotsman who’d build his own bike out of washing machine parts – not strictly true, but looks good in the papers – had just taken the hour record… and couldn’t quite believe that it was the same Mr G Obree of Ayrshire.


Anyway, it’s a good film. A good story, and a darker and more interesting one than the usual “nice guy underdog triumphs against the villanous ogres of the establishment” type affair. Obree was, maybe still is to a degree, haunted by a bi-polar condition which he has sought therapy from in writing his own biography on which the film is based. Jonny Lee Miller turns in a top-drawer performance, and even manages to look a lot like Graeme did at the time.


The Flying Scotsman: The Graeme Obree StoryI haven’t read all of the Flying Scotsman autobiography yet – I’m waiting for it to wing its way from Amazon – but I have delved into it using their excellent “Search Inside” feature which allows you to preview pages of a book before committing to buying it.


I suppose the Obree story is one that everyone can learn from – by having supreme self belief (he refused to talk about “attempting” to break the world record… the way he saw it, he was going to break the record) and raw talent, it’s possible to prevail. Now, I can talk myself into self belief, but I’m still searching for the raw talent… 🙂


PS. The film goes on general release on 29th June 2007, and the book has been available for a couple of years.

Surface er, surfaces

The secret project codenamed Milan was announced today, as “Microsoft Surface”: there have been a few videos floating around from Microsoft Research open days and the like, but the announced technology has had a good deal of marketing gloss applied and it really looks fantastic.

Check out the videos on http://www.microsoft.com/surface – it’s interesting to note that this is technology that’s been developing for years, not just some great idea that’s been annonced before it has any legs. The actual device is going to be relatively expensive ($1000s) and won’t be available until late this year, but it has some interesting possible applications – particularly in face:face scenarios where having a screen/keyboard between two people could be divisive.

The scenarios in the several videos might seem a bit far fetched right now, but who knows where this technology could be in 5 or 10 years’ time?

The lost art of the .sig

Whatever happened to elaborate and amusing ‘.sig’s? It used to be common practice to have a signature with some kind of witty/pithy quote appended at random to every email.

Nowadays, the autosignature that most email programs can insert (such as Outlook’s ability to have multiple autosigs, which vary depending on which account is sending, or whether the mail is a new message or a reply), is typically informative with lots of contact information, job titles, disclaimers etc. I’ve seen some sigs which are twice as long as the message itself (though there may be a legal requirement in the UK to put company information in the sig, in the same way that letterhead paper would, but some people really go to town).

I’ve had a lot of people comment on my own sig (or steal it – you’re welcome to, if you like), since I tried to make it as small as possible whilst still conveying the maximum information, and using hyper links for the different ways you can contact me:

Ewan Dalton
communicator email phone RSS | +44 118 909 3318 | ewand@microsoft.com
Solutions Architect – Microsoft UK
cid:image001.jpg@01C6A4F4.036E8CF0  Sent using Exchange 2007 and Outlook 2007
Microsoft Limited | Registered in England | No 1624297 | Thames Valley Park, Reading RG6 1WG

or for replies (where real estate is even more important)…

Ewan Dalton | communicator email phone RSS | Microsoft UK | ewand@microsoft.com |+44 118 909 3318
Microsoft Limited | Registered in England | No 1624297 | Thames Valley Park, Reading RG6 1WG

Since we’re using Office Communicator, if someone clicks on the first link (the sip: URL), they’ll send me an IM. The 3rd pic (the tel: URL) will call me using Communicator (or whatever else they’re using that can support a telURL, such as a Smartphone).

I kind of miss the days where interesting quotes were de rigeur – you know, the kind of thing about BillG saying 640k should be enough for anyone (I’m not actually sure he ever said that, but we’ll leave it for now) or Thomas J Watson saying there should be a worldwide market for maybe 5 computers…

Speaking of Thos J Watson, if you have an idle few minutes, you really should check out the IBM Songbook – top marks for IBM to keeping it alive as historical curio in the IBM Archives. My own personal favourite is “To Thos J. Watson, President, I.B.M.”, sung to the tune of “Happy Days are Here Again”.

Anyway, last word on .sigs. David Harris, author of the now venerable Pegasus Mail (which had support for auto-insertion or random quotes from a .sig file, used to have a cracker or two. One that sticks in my mind (apparently taken from a real newspaper):

After the boat had been secured above the wrecked galleon, the diving apparatus was set in motion by the Captain’s 18 year old daughter, Veronica. Within hours she was surrendering her treasure to the excited crew.